THE HONEY MOON IS OVER!!!
We all have to be adults at some point. Some how I have lost sight of the difference between the important things, and personal want. I feel like I have been sucked into some kind of hole that I could sink nor swim in, just a completely unproductive state of being. Ever since superman came into my life, I just haven’t been the same girl I used to be. In some ways this is a good thing. I am no longer hanging out at the bars and I am not getting in nearly as much trouble with the law. But this has brought a few bad things too…. I am not as current on my blogs, I don’t get hardly any “ME” time and I am not taking on the maximum amount of work I could be; basically I am loosing money and time… things that are hard to get back. I realize that nothing in life worth having comes easy, but what happens when it threatens you very way of life? How are you supposed to find a happy balance between work, your man, and your friends? My room mate tells me all the time that I am spending too much time with my guy and that I am loosing touch with the rest of our friends. She also said that eventually we will all loose friends as we grow up and older but when is it okay to start eliminating your friends? Seems like something I should have a little more control over.
Superman is great and I love spending time with him, I just wish he would be okay with me spending time with my girls too… and myself for that matter. I NEED to start a few projects for my website that I have had on the back burner because I am constantly trying to accommodate for making him comfortable and calm. Recently he started drinking some to help with his troubled thoughts of me at work, but that is NOT working for him or me. Here I am trying to drink less and he wants to drink more… Not good. After this weekends disastrous activities I really feel like I am bringing him down. The honey moon is over thats for sure. We were cool when we first met, then we were great when we got to know each other, then things were so awesome once we were official and now it seems as if we are declining, It is like we reached a peak. I have aways said that there is just as much bad for all the good. I am always kinda weary when things get too good, I just know that a dose of bad is on the way. Right now I feel like that is exactly what is going on, we are taking on the dose of bad. All our problems are caused from my job. He hates it go figure… I keep telling him that I had this job WAY before he came along and that I wont be able todo this forever! He tells me he understands and that he will be able to hang in there, but then hours later he brings it up again. It is exhausting and frustrating!
Yesterday he and I took a time out from the real world. It was not my idea, but he really needed it to kinda find himself again. The reason I liked him so much is because he was strong and comforting to me, he was a man’s man…. This last week I was the strong one who was comforting him. I know relationships are give and take so I stuck it out, but I cant do this long. I can only do what I know is secure for my future… I am not in the position to be dropping jobs for some boys happiness when it just adds more stress onto me. I have a goal in this industry to be debt free and walk away with have accomplished some kind of grown up activity. The day I am debt free and everything is all payed off, then yes I can focus on another career move, but for now this is the way I have chosen to accomplish my goal. You can consider this a mission statement if you want 
I am back to the old hard working me and I cant wait! I am making a movie through PUBA and I cant wait to get that to you all, I know you will love it. Today I plain on doing some much needed snuggling with my little guys as I get work done on the computer, then i have a job to be at around 1. It is TUESDAY… the perfect day to turn things back around and keep moving forward!!!
Dont over analyze it! Lol. There are bad and good days/weeks in every relationship. Sometime you have to roll with the punches! Miss you girl. Hope all is well.
*STILLSBYALAN I miss you! I hope you are well for the holidays! I will be seeing you at AVN for sure!!! fun times baby!
Hey Charley!
I just wanted to tell ya that Annabelle’s and Olivia’s of SD are pretty pumped that your coming out for a visit!
I hope your shoot goes well tomorrow and we’ll see ya soon.
And as for the predicament you’re in, all dudes are silly/stupid.
I understand that’s a generalization, but generalizations save time haha. ;D!
Lena
Awww, I hope everything works out for you, Charley
It definitely is tricky, finding that perfect harmony and balance b/t work, friends, and love. And time for ourselves, too. I hope you and Superman can ultimately come to some sort of understanding and compromise! Love ya babe.
My first time visiting your site and your Tweet caught my attention. I completely agree with Stillsbyalan … Don’t over analyze the situation. That said, I will also add that work is very important and judging from what you wrote in your Tweet, work is what keeps you on a efficient path. That is not the case for everyone but I will have to admit the fact that work related goal is very motivating for me personally. It keeps me out of trouble and once the goals are met, it feels wonderful … It’s an absolute HIGH! It’s not to say a healthy relationship isn’t essential but very difficult to juggle with an extensive work schedule. Finding a balance is nearly impossible since you’re not the only variable in the equation but he is as well. People’s expectations change and that throws off the balance … the balance that you’ve work extra hard to establish. All in all, do the best you can and concentrate on something that is solid … your work. If he is truly there and the Mr. Right, so long as you are willing to compromise a bit, everything will eventually balance out. Things have a funny way of working out
You are acting like you are five years old… Why do you keep saying “superman”?!, does he know how to fly or does he save lifes?!, because in that case maybe we should send him to Iraq… You are acting like he is better than everybody else… If he is a “superman” then guess what my girlfriend calls me?, she calls me “the incredible”… and when I see your comments on facebook, they are ALL about you having sex, well guess what, we are almost 300,000,000 people in america and trust me, you are NOT the only one whos having sex in this country… You sound like you are better and cooler than other people wich you arent… Get a life!
*SEAN SMITH hehe every one~ this comment is the perfect example of people who take time out of there day to lash out o people they are either jealous of or of people who spend there time pretending to hate someone when all they can do is check up on and respond to there blogs. People like this make me sad! It is okay buddy if you like me or if you wish you were either me or the guy or girl I am banging. I hope you and your girlfriend work your problems out, what ever they may be…. feel free to send more hateful messages my way. I am happy to take your misdirected anger and turn it into a great example of idiots. By the way, my friends gave him that name because he is nerdy and looks like Clark Kent.
*ALAN yeah I like you!!! he and I have taken a step back… I am going to be taking a few vacations this weekend so I will have time to myself and I am sure that will fix everything!
*MEGA MAN problem solved… Im going snowboarding!!!
*NICK all is well… hope the same to you!
*LENA IM bringing the party so you all better be ready!
I have no problems with my girlfriend… Why would I be jealous of you??!!, and why would I wish to be with you??!!… You are nothing but a cheap whore, after all you are selling your body for money and I guess you cant handle the truth… I dont know what asian country you are from but here in America we dont brag about having sex on facebook or blog… Get a life loser!
I had a feeling it would come to this point. Like you said, you dont want some guy telling you what you can and cant do w/your life. Hopfully he realizes the step back is to help you both determine what you both want. He started drinking, when did that start?? Anyways, hope youre feeling better and no wipeouts when you go snowboarding.
*geoff yeah the step back is already helping we had three days apart, now for another two and the sex in between was phenomenal!
Guess what Charley, I just had sex with my girlfriend and it was great!…LOL, you fucking fool!
From some of your past posts, there were moments that “Superman” was sounding a bit needy, so I’m not surprised he expressed displeasure with your work. All in all though, it sounds as if your good days together have outweighed your bad… A well timed break is perfect for keeping relationship balance as you have experienced.
Relationships are a very funny thing. In the beginning (honeymoon phase), we start out completely infatuated with everything about the other person. As time goes on, the things that made us giddy with butterflies become commonplace, and we tend to forget what it was that attracted us to each other to begin with… This is normal, and any relationships meant to last, find ways of reinvigorating the flame. I’m reminded of a quote that represents successfully moving out of the honeymoon phase…
“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction…” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
*ALEXANDER things are working out… we are going to my parents for the holidays so we will see how it goes…
Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Happy Holidays!
*ALEXANDER it is all going so well, I couldnt be happier
yay